When I'm puzzled or perplexed about an incident or issue, or want to start a poem and don't quite know what to say, I've found it's helpful to use acrostics to generate quick-quick thought-material I can work with. They're good Insight-Generators: Why was that particular comment / person / incident sooooo upsetting? What does future, friendship, or fun mean - deep down, behind all the defensive, deflective reactions and practiced behaviours? Acrostics can reveal secrets stubbornly hidden from oneself, and others, long buried under years of unthinking habit. Work quickly for best effect - don't think. Begin with the trigger-word and wait - the Aha! will make itself known.
Live & (Re)Learn:
Randomly riffling through old diaries I found an acrostic from years ago - shock-surprise - it speaks of Now:
Begin at the beginning -
Exactly where would that be, then?
Time is immaterial - once it's happened -
it stays with you, in you, about you.
it stays with you, in you, about you.
Running away won't help your condition
Acceptance is the only possible means
of attempting a workable solution
You have to start with what you'd like to
escape from: yield to it.
Attitude - what you tell yourself about it
will determine how you feel
will determine how you feel
Look at it from all angles - Learn from it -
or it will be repeated
or it will be repeated
Life Labyrinth: A Spiral-Bound Diary of Events:
Many of the diary entries chanced on today have read like 'reruns'. Although there are years between the acrostic event above (which I no longer remember) and my current crisis, the feelings are the same although the venue, situation and players are different. Like a repeating dream I need to 'get' what this is about to finally put it to rest like the troubled ghost that it is; try to track back to the original slaughter whenever that was, and meet myself there....
Opportunity Knocks
Hard to deal with the darkness of past experiences, especially when I've assiduously walled them up and walked away, but truth is that sealed up pain has wreaked a lot of damage, and this present resonance / echo is a call to do some necessary refurbishment, to finally be free of the heavy negative hold it's had to date. Attempts at trying to cover up these unresolved issues and pain I suspect has affected others on some level anyway - leaking out like radiation - silent, toxic: not the best conditions for any relationship to thrive. Time to make real changes - for a good prognosis.
Dr. Inkwell at Your Service
I shall be seeking out tools and resources to effect healing changes: art, writing, imagework, the use of symbols, intuitive exercises - anything! It may prove radical. It could get messy, but, hey, I'm going in.....
